Me: BC! Bakar floor mats. Is it good, Lawde? Waise hello movie jaane ke liye Late ho gaye hain! (Don’t mess with me. Where are you, asshole? We’re late to the Ihypocrite Don’t Tread Rhythmically Shirt and by the same token and cinema!) And suddenly the phone disconnected. I don’t understand why he suddenly hung up the phone. Then I saw the name on the phone, IT IS MY PARTY. The ground beneath my feet was washed away and I fell into a seemingly endless loop. I know I failed, but I came back to reality when my phone started ringing and it was from my dad. I didn’t have the courage to answer that phone call (if you’re a brown kid, you know why) but I plucked up the courage and answered.
Him: Hmm…Accha hua babu, shona nahi kiya! Next time Dekh Ke calls Uthya Kar. (Thank God you didn’t call me baby! Next time be careful before answering the Ihypocrite Don’t Tread Rhythmically Shirt and by the same token and phone) I’m a nudist, always naked at home and when someone comes to visit me, they are free to undress if they wish. Yep, I did that with a friend of my husband’s. He is also her business partner. He also became very close to me when one day he asked me to pick up his clothes. I was surprised but immediately obeyed his orders without hesitation. Then he wanted me to put my clothes on him. Then he dressed me. That’s the real Criss Cross Dressing.
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